There are standards to a first date. Dates have become so standardized that it should be referred to as an interview, then the second date should actually be the first date. I blame the dating apps and continuous access to 50 people at your fingertips that are potential partners.
If you only have a chance of getting a date by meeting a random person in the grocery store or out with friends then it may seem more important to impress that person in the beginning with a well thought out first date. But, today, it has become coffee or a drink, “the interview”. Coffee can linger forever, making it extremely hard to get out of a situation that might become boring or make you start to twitch. Same with drinks. Yet, with a drink, if one of the datee’s suggests a second drink or appetizers or both, the assumption is that they are in to you…for the moment. This was something I learned, those signs have always just flew over my head.
Here I go, date number one, exciting yet nerve-racking. I am meeting a complete stranger and I have no idea the online dating stranger meeting protocol.
Do I text when I get there?
Do I just go in and order then worry about texting?
What if I pass right by him?
I double check his picture and his name multiple times to make sure I don’t mess up or forget. I did learn from this first one that I am not good at judging a person by their picture…at all. I also learned to forget whatever the protocol might be, don’t seek advice, and just pick an option that is right for you. I look around for someone waiting for someone, nobody, I go in. Then I get a text. Shoot, I messed this up. I see the person in the shirt that is described in the text message and walk out to meet the stranger standing by the wall. We walk back in and order a coffee. He walks in first but does not hold the door open, disappointing (I know this may be petty to some of you but we all have out things), but he pay’s so I guess that cancels out the other. Men paying always makes me uncomfortable but its chivalry and its trying not to be dead. This is something I will have to learn to be okay with as the dates go along, or figure out a way to get to dates earlier to get settled and pay for my own item.
We sat out side, it was a nice afternoon despite being a bit hot. There were many awkward silences. I could not think of anything to ask him. My brain just froze. Not even “what do you think of the weather today?” could come out of my mouth. I was overall…disappointed. I was really looking forward to this new adventure, a change and a leap that I would have never thought I would do.
We said our good-bye’s and he said that he would like to see me again, I agreed although I was hesitant. We made it past the interview, the nerves and awkwardness shed and a second date might be worth it.
As the adventure continued I realize this first first date was one of the better ones.
On to date number 2…